A Mommy Moment

Chlo' & I came upstairs to nap, this afternoon. She trotted off to pick out her naptime books & I hopped on-line to check e-mail ("hit the cr*ckpipe"). As I was logging on, I heard her "reading" her books to her snuggle bear. "AAaaawwww... my sweet precious babe", I'm thinking. I finished up reading my e-mails, and noticed that it was awfully silent in her room. I stopped & listened a second more. Still no sounds. No sounds of movement, no "humming herself to sleep". Just silence.
I crept in & peeked around the corner. She was sound asleep. And my heart broke. Then I inwardly cheered. Then I broke a little more.
These are the defining moments of my motherhood journey that I've wanted to experience. I want my child to be strong & independent. I want her to be proud when she can do things for herself. And I want to know that it won't hurt so much to watch as she learns these virtues, and slowly grows away from me. I long for her to be old enough that we can be friends, and simultaneously, I want my baby that needs her mama. As she grows, I too, grow.